| I slept quite well throughout the night but am now wide awake in anticipation. It's 10:00A.M. and my surgery is scheduled for 11:00A.M. I listen to my walkman and write in my diary as time passes ever so slowly. I am not nervous but would like to get things over with. As always, I have no reservations about my pending GRS and am looking forward to it. I am impatient as usual. The man is still in my room at the clinic. I am told he had a penile implant and will be discharged by the time I return from surgery. I believe he only speaks French and don't believe he can move from his bed without help. I still didn't like sharing the room with him. Prudish of me, isn't it? The nurse finally comes to take me to the operating room. Down the hallway to the elevator and then up to the second floor we go. I'm placed on a cold metal cart with squeaky wheels which I think is standard for most hospitals. Dr. Menard asks if I have any questions, if I'm nervous, or if I have any doubts. I reply I've never had any doubts, I'm not nervous and in fact, I'm excited and elated that this moment has finally arrived. I think my excitement shows in my voice and glowing demeanor. The anesthesiologist applies the "IV" to my arm and I'm out within seconds. I wake up sometime later in my room. I'm surprised at the lack of pain but am I ever drowsy and sleepy. I call Jeri but don't think I carry on much of a conversation other than to tell her I'm doing fine and I love and miss her. I don't recall much more and end up sleeping a lot. |
| I am able to stand and walk to the bathroom. I am surprised at how little pain and discomfort there is. After reading some accounts of GRS I expected major hurt afterwards but this is a pleasant surprise. I'm excited to find a flower arrangement in my room sent to me by Jeri (how special). I also find a single rose in a vase left by Cheyenne in my room and I think what a thoughtful gesture. The first thing I do is call Jeri. I'm no longer drowsy but excited and talkative. Around noon I develop a complication. I feel a burning sensation in my vaginal area and observe some swelling in my lower abdomen. The burning quickly turns into a pain that starts to intensify. I call for a nurse who briefly inspects the area then rushes off. A few minutes later she returns and tells me Dr. Menard is on his way in. I learn I have some internal bleeding which requires Dr. Menard to take me back into surgery to cauterize. |
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| Flowers from Jeri and the kids |
| Card that accompanied the flowers |
| A rose from Cheyenne |
| Despite having the surgical revision for the bleeding I still feel great both mentally and physically. There is no pain, which naturally is a very pleasant surprise. I am able to stand and walk to the bathroom unassisted. I remain in bed most of the day and, in my excitement, call just about everyone I know. I realize I'm going to hate this calling card bill when it comes in but right now I just don't care. I'm too elated and want to share my happiness with the world. I go visit Carley and Wendy in the adjacent room several times throughout the day. We compare notes on how the surgery went and how each feels. |
| The same routine; dilate, clean dilators and myself, then it's time to dilate again. I'm having some problems with the dilations being painful. During the little free time available we continue to share stories with each other and the new arrivals. I continue to write letters and cards and make phone calls. I keep in touch with Jeri daily. |
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| Carley, Linda, Cheyenne |
| We go back to the residence for recovery. The former post-op girls; Annette, Mikela, and the two Michelle's have left and a new group has arrived to await their GRS. We are now the ones taking the slow deliberate steps into the residence being watched and greeted by the new group. It's not painful, it's just the packing and the stent are so uncomfortable. It's a cumulative thing too; the longer the stent and packing is in, the more uncomfortable it feels. We each find that unique position that puts the least pressure on the stent and packing and affords the greatest degree of comfort. Sylvia talks about having a cocktail on our arrival at the residence. I thought this was something to look forward to and celebrate. Little did I know this was a cocktail of mineral oil and prune juice - YUCK! Repeated cocktails until nature doesn't need this kind of a nudge. With the catheter out it's a constant concern for hygiene, and use of the bidet becomes a constant. We stay up late at night talking because laying down isn't the most comfortable position for the stent and packing. I favored leaning across the chef's island in the kitchen while others had their own unique way to contort their body to some form of comfort. We also stay up late because talking and sharing one anothers stories is such an interesting pastime. |
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| When I get to my room there is a large floral bouquet waiting for me from Dr. Menard and Staff. It sure brightens my room and my heart. |
| Not much to report. A lot of talking, sharing stories with the new arrivals, getting acquainted, complaining about the stent and packing, and sleeping. Much attention is continually paid to hygiene. I write a lot and make way too many telephone calls to everyone everywhere. I am excited at finally being "complete" and want to share my joy. I am quite impressed with one of the new arrivals. A 19 year old who has her parents accompanying her. What acceptance and support as I think back to several days earlier. While I was still recovering at the Clinic from my GRS I had telephoned my mother. I hadn't seen her in a number of years and it had been her request that I never return home. We now live at opposite ends of the country and I decided to call her and request a chance to visit. It would be nothing to alter my flight plans when leaving Montreal for a stop over in Pittsburgh. The same old verdict is returned however, which is to not come home. This brings some sadness to my joy, an issue that may never be resolved. I remind myself that my problems have been minimal to those who undertake this journey. I have always had the help and support of my spouse and children as well as my employer. I reflect on some of the personal accounts of difficulty I've been told while at the residence. I realize I truly am the lucky one. |
| The next group of girls awaiting GRS & Linda |
| The long awaited day arrives. Dr. Menard removes the hated stent and packing in the morning. It is such a relief. Sylvia then instructs me on how to dilate, which I usually do while lost in my musical world with the aid of my walkman. Staying at the residence is a real treat. I dilate, get up and go to the bathroom to clean the dilators, and return to find my room neat and clean. Bed made-up with clean linens; everything picked up. Ah, the life of luxury. Time to go down to the kitchen and see what delicacy awaits for the next meal |
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| Linda with Sylvia, Dr. Menard's wife |
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| Photo removed at request of those pictured. |
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| LINDA'S GENDER REASSIGNMENT IN MONTREAL: page 3 |
| Tuesday January 14, 1997 Finally the big day arrives! |
| Wednesday January 15, 1997 |
| Thursday January 16, 1997 |
| Friday January 17, 1997 |
| Saturday / Sunday January 18-19, 1997 |
| Monday January 20, 1997 |
| Tuesday / Wednesday January 21-22, 1997 |